Fairytis!
by Megawacky Max
Summary: After a long and exhausting week, Wanda get's sick. Only Cosmo can grant wishes now, and that makes Timmy wish for a quick remedy for Wanda's illness, which proves to be the stupidest wish ever.
1. Sickening Beginning

–**o–**

**Fairytis**

A Fairly Odd–Parents fic

**Brought to you by:**

Megawacky Max

–**o–**

**Author Notes:**

My first FoP fic, really. Hope I do this right…

As usual, my eternal thanks to my beloved **Eve13** for the grammar corrections.

By the way, I haven't seen the episode where Cosmo and Wanda have Fairy Flu. Eve enlightened me on it while she corrected the grammar and added the necessary lines to make this fic fit properly, so thanks again to her for that.

–**o–**

This story is dedicated to **Qwerty–Kitties**, a friend of mine since long ago and a person who just goes _"Whee!"_ when the topic is Fairies.

–**o–**

**Chapter One  
Sickening beginning**

**I**t had been a normal week. Or at least as normal as it could get when you happened to be a ten year–old, nasal–voiced, buck–toothed, pink–hatted, Vicky–vexed boy living in the average city of Dimmsdale.

Timmy Turner's bedroom door slammed open. The boy slunk into the room with his clothes singed and smoke pouring off his body in waves. His face was full of annoyed resignation.

"_That_," he squeaked, "is the last time I wish to drive a flaming Bentley."

Timmy slammed the door shut. There was a double _POP_ as two magical beings appeared over Timmy's head.

"Whoo! Wasn't that awesome!" said Cosmo, thrilled and nursing second–degree burns. Next to him, Wanda could still smell burnt rubber and scorched metal.

"No, it definitely wasn't," she said. With a wave of her wand and a cleansing poof the three of them were free of burns and smoldering embers. Timmy walked to his bed and lay face–down on the mattress.

"What a week!" He turned over, a very tired expression on his face. "I don't recall having such an intense week since… since… Ah, never mind."

Cosmo and Wanda could only nod in agreement, a smile on his face and a weary sigh on hers. It had been a tense week, all right – Monday had real Space Invaders and Timmy's new perspective on the Perfect Video–Game, Tuesday and a very stupid wish involving submarine–diving in active volcanoes for Geography homework, Wednesday with an unexpected Vicky Alert which made Timmy wish she would turn into something really ugly (and she turned into… Vicky), Thursday Timmy had only to say, "Bah, History class sucks! I wish I could have lived World War II, that'd save me a lot of – _POOF_!" and, finally, today.

All Timmy wanted on this Friday was to sit down and read a book in order to impress Trixie Tang (currently going through a "Smart is so dorky it's cool" stage). He should have read something else, though. The book gave Timmy the image of himself driving an old, classic car in flames while he grinned like a demonic maniac. It had been too tempting to resist. He just had to wish for it. In the end, the city could surely repair the trail of destruction. Yeah, they probably could. Chompy was probably putting out some of the bigger fires right now.

"Saturday!" Timmy moaned. "Much–loved weekend! You know what I really wish for this weekend? I wish for a very calm couple of days, just to relax a bit…"

Wanda beamed at him. At last, some peace! She raised her wand and smiled maniacally, except she was not driving a car in flames. Cosmo, on the other hand, did not.

"What! Like, no Ghost Pirates and sunken ships!" he said.

"No," Timmy just said.

"No sliding down the tallest, most dangerous icy slope ever!" Cosmo almost cried.

"Nope."

"No risking Time and Space in a freaky scientific experiment involving cute little white mice, supercomputers, and . . . and nuclear reactors!" Cosmo all but demanded.

"Nnnnnooo…" said Timmy, although that last one had some appeal.

"Just two days of plain, boring calm and tranquility!" Cosmo's eyes put a kennel's worth of pleading puppies to shame.

"That's right. _I wish for a calm, tranquil weekend_," repeated Timmy.

Cosmo thought for two long seconds, then grinned in relief and raised his wand. "Cool! I can take a break, too, _whoohoo_!"

Cosmo and Wanda's wands glowed, sparkled with gathering magic . . . and went dead. The two fairies examined them with concern.

"What's wrong with these?" wondered Wanda. "This isn't against _Da Rules_, I'm sure of it!"

Timmy looked worried, too.

"Uhm! Maybe if I try something smaller?" he thought out loud. "Okay, here goes . . . I wish I had a kitty!"

"_Kitty!_" smiled Cosmo. Both raised their wands once more.

There was a puff of _MEOW!_–shaped smoke, and a giant saber–tooth tiger stood behind Timmy. Cosmo seemed delighted, but Wanda gasped in what Timmy hoped was awe at his fluffy new pet.

"Well?" he asked, "Where's the kitty?"

The intense roar that followed made Timmy's head rock forward. When the sound stopped, Timmy knew he didn't want to look behind. The expressions on his godparents' faces were enough.

"There's a giant saber–tooth tiger behind me, isn't there?" he said. It didn't help when Wanda and Cosmo nodded, one in horror and the other in innocent pleasure. "_Okaaaaaayyyy_…" said Timmy calmly, then leapt off the bed right before 700 pounds of primitive paws and claws landed on the mattress and sliced it like bread.

"I wish the tiger was gone!" yelped Timmy, and began to scream when the wands failed again. The tiger crouched and Timmy suddenly saw his life flash before his eyes. It took about three seconds.

Mom and Dad walked past their son's bedroom door just in time to hear a loud roar and an even louder crash. They exchanged a glance. Timmy's Dad knocked.

"Son, is everything all right? What was that noise?"

"_Kitty!_" yelled a happy voice on the other side.

"Oh, good. You've got a pet." smiled Dad and turned to leave. "Just make sure to keep it away from your goldfish."

"And remember to get a scratching post, Timmy." Mom chimed before heading downstairs.

Just after they vanished from sight, four razor sharp claws stabbed through the wooden door and sliced their way down.

Inside, mayhem was the blue plate special. Timmy's recently cleaned clothes were ripped. Wanda floated around the saber–tooth, attempting to tame it through wearing a beast–trainer outfit and wielding a whip and chair.

"Back!" she yelled at the beast. "Back, I said! You shall not pass!" the whip in her hand cracked like fire.

"Cosmo, do something!" Timmy yelled to Cosmo, who was currently wearing a hunter's outfit and holding a cork–loaded shotgun.

"I just know what to do!" he suddenly beamed. The cork–loaded shotgun turned into Cosmo's wand and he traced a glowing arch in the air.

_Whoosh! Bang! Poof! SIGFRIED & ROY!_

Two men in tight white clothes appeared within the sparkly dust. They posed and produced a large, white hoop from nowhere. As one, they spoke the words that had soothed savage felines the world over.

"Here, kitty!"

The giant saber–tooth turned his attention to them, and went from a psychotic hunter of the night to a purring pussycat that napped in sunbeams.

"Through the hoop, come on!" the men said. The tiger obeyed and jumped through the large, white hoop. He didn't land on the other side.

"Show's over!" the men said with twin bows before jumping through the magical hoop and disappearing as well. The hoop then turned into flames and shrunk to the size of a ring, right before exploding into dust that spelled out _VIVA LAS VEGAS_.

Timmy and Wanda stood still, jaws agape. Cosmo applauded and whistled. Five second later, both Timmy and Wanda fainted.

–**o–**

"**T**ry not to wish for anything until we discover what's wrong," suggested Wanda after regaining consciousness again and having two very strong cups of tea. Both she and Cosmo focused on their research, turning page after page of _Da Rules_. It had been hours since his Odd–Parents had started the investigation.

Timmy nodded, glancing at the eight cracks in his bedroom door and smothered a yawn. Life was terribly boring when one discovered the only real fun was to do something intense and perhaps death–defying with two magical creatures of your own.

"_Eureka!_" said Cosmo.

"Found anything?" wondered Wanda.

"What? Oh… No, I just like the sound of the word," grinned Cosmo.

Wanda gave him a hard look and a tense sigh. "Just keep looking, okay?"

Timmy also sighed, but decided to jump on his sliced bed and fluffed up the miraculously undamaged pillow. He fell asleep.

He woke up and sensed something strange. He patted his chin and discovered a long, white beard. Annoyed, he pulled the false beard from his face and was ready to complain about those stupid stereotypic jokes, when…

"_Eureka!_" said Cosmo.

"For the one thousandth time, quit that!" yelled Wanda.

"Nonono! This time I mean it, look!" grinned Cosmo, pointing at one paragraph in particular.

Timmy jumped off the bed. "What's that, Cosmo, Wanda? You look worried."

Wanda pushed Cosmo aside as she grabbed the book as if her life depended on it. There certainly was a trace of horror in her face as she stared at the article.

"Oh, no! No! I mean… No!" she blabbed. "Maybe it was Cosmo, not me!" she then said, a grin of maniacal hope on her face.

"What's all this about?" demanded Timmy, stretching out his arms.

"_Fairytis!_" Wanda almost yelled, her voice betraying here feelings.

"Wha?" said Timmy, suddenly lost.

"It's a Fairy illness," said Cosmo. "Like chicken pox or flu, but it only affects Fairies. I had it when I was little."

"This is bad!" said Wanda. "I cannot have Fairytis! Fairies can only have it if they work too hard at granting wishes!"

Timmy blinked, then turned to Cosmo. "How could you get it when you were little? I doubt you had Godchildren at that age."

"Nope, but I had a very demanding mother," Cosmo said proudly. "_Cosmo, do this; Cosmo, do that; Cosmo, don't pay attention to that dumb Wanda girl; Cosmo, go to the Fairy Academy…_ Well, if you try to grant too many wishes in a short period of time, you get sick of it."

"Oh, no, it was this past week!" said Wanda. "The wishes of this week were too much, and I probably got sick of it! Oh, my, I have Fairytis!" she claimed in horror, bending her wand to the breaking point.

"And what happens when you have Fairytis?" asked Timmy. "Besides bringing savage animals into my room, I mean."

"Oh, that wasn't her; that was me!" smiled Cosmo. "I conjured it before Wanda could. I just love kitties…"

"I can't perform magic as long as I'm sick," said Wanda, sweating nervously and looking from left and right in paranoia. "Nor dual magic, that's why both our wands became useless when we tried magic. Cosmo alone can grant wishes! This is terrible!"

"Why terrible?" asked Timmy. "I mean, okay, you can't grant wishes –– you probably need to, I don't know, stay in bed for a few days and take some medicine, but in the meantime Cosmo can grant my wishes!" smiled Timmy. Cosmo nodded in agreement.

"Timmy, think of what you are saying!" shouted Wanda. Her hair started to frizz. "You asked for a little kitty and this idiot brought a large feline armed with sharp claws and huge fangs!"

Timmy blinked. Looked down in thought. Gasped. Blinked again. Thought for a moment longer. Stared back at Wanda. And blinked one last time.

"I'm dead, you mean."

–**o–**

**W**anda's appearance didn't improve by Saturday morning; she had dark rings around her half–closed eyes, a runny nose, uncombed hair, and was wearing a thick, pink, fluffy bathrobe.

"'Ood mo'ning, Minny," she croaked, unable to focus on her Godchild.

"Wow, you're a mess!" said Timmy. Next to Wanda, Cosmo seemed as professional as ever, which in this case wasn't much.

"She's been sneezing all night," he said. "It might not be a good idea to have her around."

"Why not?" Timmy asked.

Wanda's eyes bulged open as she opened her mouth and sneezed violently. _Zip! Bang! Crackle!_ Dozens of small random magic popped in Timmy's bedroom in the shapes of white doves, rabbits, poker cards and other random, stereotypical enchantments.

"You mean she casts magic _accidentally_?" Timmy dreaded. "Why didn't you tell me this was like the Fairy Flu? I'll get the sauerkraut!"

Wanda blew her nose. "Id won' worg, Minny. Thid id buch worse than de Bairy Blu."

"Yup." Cosmo added. "Fairytis and the Fairy Flu mess up a Fairy's magic, but Fairytis can't be cured by sauerkraut and can even suffer after–effects when it's gone."

"Yeah, how's that?"

Cosmo grinned. "I'm a Fairytis After–Effect myself," he said, smiling with his tongue stuck out to one side.

Timmy slapped his forehead in horror. "That's terrible! We can't let that happen to Wanda! Isn't there a cure for it?"

"Been drink'ih it last nig'h," she muttered. "But it ta'es ti'e…"

"I don't have time," scowled Timmy. "Isn't there a _quicker_ way?"

"Oh, yes," said Cosmo, "but I can not tell you of the Secret Magical Seed of the Himalayas because it's Top Secret."

"Really? Why is it a secret?" smiled Timmy, playing with Cosmo's mind.

"Because if humans discover the Seed they would never need medicines again. The Seed is able to cure absolutely everything, but its location and method of use is restricted even to Fairies," said Cosmo. "But I can't tell you any of that because if Top Secret", he repeated.

"Oh, Cosmo, you idi'ot…", Wanda shook her sick head.

"Well, this requires desperate measures," said Timmy. "Wanda can't stay like this. I say we find a way to get this Secret Magical Seed of the Himalayas for her sake."

"Hey! How did you know of the Secret Seed! It was Secret!" Cosmo gasped. Timmy opted to ignore him.

"All I need to do is wish to be in the Himalayas, right? If I wish, say, to know the exact location of the Seed… is that possible?"

"_Timmy_," croaked Wanda, "even in my state of suff'ring and pain, I advide again' dat…" she thought for a couple of seconds and groaned. "_Aw, heck widdit!_ Am sick! I woun't mind recob'ring faster."

"It's settled!" said Timmy. "Cosmo, I wish to know the exact location of the Secret Magical Seed of the Himalayas!"

Cosmo smiled and raised his wand. There was a large poof of smoke, a sound like a record being scratched, and a large manly _DENIED!_ crushed Cosmo. The clouds of smoke dissipated to reveal an office with a large desk on one end. Timmy and Cosmo looked around and discovered Wanda had traveled with them.

"Wanda, I thought you couldn't do magic…" said Timmy.

"Hey, this doesn't look like the Himalayas," said Cosmo, frowning. "Where's the ice–cream man?"

"SILENCE!" roared a voice from behind the desk. A giant figure loomed over Fairies and Godchild.

Buff body. Short, white hair. German accent.

"Jorgen Von Strangle!" yelled Timmy.

"Hey, when did you start working at the Himalayas?" smiled Cosmo.

"Be quiet you pitiful little beings!" said Jorgen. "Timmy Turner, you have attempted to ask for a wish that would reveal the hiding place of our Secret Magical Seed, haven't you?"

"Uuuhhhh… No… That's a secret," Timmy grinned insanely.

"Silence! Nothing's secret with Cosmo around!" barked Jorgen. "Little kid, you listen to me carefully, now! According to _Da Rules_, such a powerful wish as the one you just made has a loophole to prevent little kids like you from ruining everything!"

"That means . . .?" asked Timmy, already fearing the worse.

_Da Book_ appeared in front of Jorgen, who put his reading spectacles on and intoned with somber authority:

"_The Secret Magical Seed of the Himalayas is the definitive cure for every illness in the worlds of Humans and Fairies. Such is its power that it has been contained in the depths of the Himalaya Mountains to avoid greedy hands. Wishing to know the location of the Seed or wishing to have the Seed itself is a restriction classified under the codename PINK._"

"Codename PINK!" yelled both Cosmo and Wanda.

"What's Codename PINK…?" asked Timmy.

"_Painfully Intense, Nearly Killing_!" shouted Jorgen, making Timmy fall on his back. "Timmy Turner! You have requested a dangerous wish! Now you must achieve it within a time limit, or you will be removed from your Godparents!"

"What! Wait! I… Hey, why within a time limit?"

"_BECAUSE I LIKE TIME LIMITS!_"

With a swing of his enormous wand Jorgen crashed it on Timmy's head. There was a blinding flash that spelled _OUT COLD!_ in Timmy's mind, and when he regained consciousness he was face down in a Timmy–shaped hole under three feet of snow.

"Yikes!" Timmy jumped out the hole, landing on a frozen rock and curling into a small ball of cold agony. "What's with Jorgen?"

Cosmo and Wanda appeared from thin air. She sniffed loudly and approached her Godchild.

"I had fo'gotten… T'eese widshes br'ig an ultimahtoom" she said. "If we dom't fi'd dat Seed soon, we'll lose you!"

"Oh, no!" cried Timmy.

"Hey, look at the bright side!" claimed Cosmo: "I found the ice–cream man…" he said, offering a snow cone to Timmy.

"I don't want ice–cream, I want warm clothes!" Timmy said through clattering teeth.

"You ha've to do it, Cosmo," sniffed Wanda. "I'm not feelig too well… Gah."

"Sure thing, sweetie!" said Cosmo. Icicles became _POLAR FASHION_ as the green–haired fairy twirled his wand. Timmy became clothed in the thickest clothes possible. It was warm, but that didn't mean Timmy could move nor talk.

"Mmmhh! Mmmmhhh!" he attempted. Timmy tried to walk. He gave a muffled scream and rolled into the snow beside the rock he was on.

"You're very welcome," Cosmo chirped.

A large explosion took place several feet from the small group. The extreme heat melted all the snow in the area, freeing Timmy from the cold danger. When he managed to stand he saw Jorgen where the explosion had taken place.

"I just forgot something, skinny," he said. "Your wish…"

He extended his wand and blasted Timmy away, making him slam his back against a cliff. He landed on a dried patch of dirt and then jumped to his feet, excited.

"Hey, I _know_! I know the location of the Seed!" he grinned. "I could go there with my eyes closed!"

"Good!" smiled Jorgen, then the smile vanished. "Because now comes Part Two!"

A second blast of magic hit Timmy. Over his head appeared a glowing green digital image of a clock. It read ten hours and began to decrease.

"There. You have ten hours to reach the Seed. If you don't, your Godparents will be reassigned to another weak little kid, and you will be a puny boy with no Godparents! Now move! You only have nine hours and fifty–nine minutes left!"

There was a new deafening blast, and Jorgen was gone. Timmy stood. The clock stayed floating over his head.

"Oh, no, we have to move!" he said urgently. "We only have ten hours to find that Seed, and I just know the path is gonna be long and dangerous!"

"No, you are wrong," said Cosmo.

"What do you mean?" sniffed Wanda.

Cosmo pointed at the digital clock. "He only has nine hours and fifty–eight minutes, not ten."

Despite the glance of intense annoyance between Timmy and Wanda, they had to admit Cosmo was right.

They only had nine hours and fifty–eight minutes (fifty–seven now). They'd better hurry…

–**o–**


	2. Snow or Never

**–o–**

**Chapter Two  
Snow or Never**

**E**ight hours and twenty–three minutes was the reading on the magical digital display floating over Timmy Turner's head. The mountain climbing so far had brought him and his Fairy Godparents high, but not high enough.

"Cosmo! Are you sure I can't wish to be somewhere higher?" yelled Timmy within the roaring gale of snow.

"No way! Jorgen deactivated every Magical Transportation Wish until this is over!" replied Cosmo.

Timmy sighed and tightened his belt. He was currently wearing proper clothes to prevent freezing, including an Eskimo fur vest. It was the best Cosmo could conjure after about a dozen attempts. Well, it was the safest at any rate. Most of the time missing on Timmy's digital display had been wasted by either Cosmo producing bizarre results from Timmy's simple wishes or the three of them running away from Cosmo's failed results.

Timmy looked over his shoulder. Behind Cosmo was Wanda, blue–skinned and teeth–chattering and looking even sicker inside a thick blanket. They had better find that Magical Seed soon… They had no time to waste, and that was too true.

"Let's move!" said Timmy. "Cosmo, I wish I was an expert climber!"

Cosmo smiled. "Hey, I can do that!" and raised his wand.

Magical dust and bananas spelled out _CHIMP!_ before the yellow poof of smoke faded. Where Timmy had been standing there was now a very angry monkey.

"_Iik–Iiik!_" Timmy–Monkey jumped up and down.

"You look cute and huggable," grinned Cosmo. Wanda approached and hit her husband with her own wand.

"Not dat kin'd o' cli'ber, youe I'dio't! Turn 'im back!" she sniffed and snorted.

"Oh, okay…"

Another cloud surrounded the Timmy–Monkey in mid–leap and Timmy replaced the chimp, still jumping up and down.

"Don't do that again!" he protested. "Listen carefully, I wish I was an expert _mountain _climber!"

"Oh, that I can also do!" grinned Cosmo before a new wave of his wand.

Before the _BAAAA!_–shaped smoke even cleared, Timmy's mountain goat horns were slashing at the air.

Cosmo turned to Wanda's half–annoyed, half–sickened face. "_Hah!_ What do you think of _that_, huh?" he said. Two seconds later Timmy–Ram bashed into him in pure vengeance, sending him flying away.

"I kin'd o' like'd dat…" Wanda softly smiled.

**–o–**

**T**wo hours later, Timmy and his God–parents were no longer outside the mountain.

They were inside of it… and climbing in a very strange fashion.

_Jump! Crack! Jump! Crack! Jump! Jump! Crack!_

Every time Timmy jumped he raised his huge wooden hammer in the air, cracking blocks of ice from the next floor until he had made a hole big enough to jump through. Every jump was also accompanied by a most distinguishable electronic sound that would surely bring tears of joyful nostalgia to more than one videogame freak.

"_Ice Climber!_" smiled Timmy after reaching Level Forty with a new jump. "I haven't played this for ages!"

"Good times," Cosmo appeared next to him, drying off a tear. "Good times . . ."

"Dat was q'ite smar't," coughed Wanda, appearing next to Cosmo.

Timmy raised a triumphant fistful of hammer. "And once again, videogames mark the Path of Truth!"

"Amen!" encored Cosmo.

Six hours and twenty minutes, Timmy saw the digits floating over his heavily–clothed head.

"Still, we must hurry," he said. "Let's see… Let's see…" he glanced sideways, searching in his mind for the information granted by the wish that started it all. "Yes, the Seed is still a long way up, but we're making good timing."

"Ho'w many floors?" sniffed Wanda.

Timmy looked up. He could almost see through the layers of icy floors overhead.

"Twenty–five, I'm sure," he said, and smiled. "We can do it. Let's go…"

"Ooh, ooh, I'm ready!" shouted Cosmo, turning his clothes into green Eskimo fur with hammer included, ready to be Player Two in this wicked game.

_Jump! Crack! Jump! Jump! Crack! Jump! Crack!_

And so on…

Twenty floors later Timmy was having problems.

_"Penguins_!" he yelled. His hammer smashed the Timmy–sized ice cube the penguin was pushing toward him.

"Why so surprised? It's _'Ice Climber'_, isn't it? There have to be ice–pushing penguins around!" said Cosmo.

"I didn't mean to add enemies to this game, because this is no game for us!"

"Oh, you didn't?" Cosmo scratched his head, found two lice, looked sideways, and then ate them.

Timmy looked up. The hole he had managed to create had been half–repaired by a well–placed ice cube.

"I wish there are no enemies!" shouted Timmy.

Cosmo raised his wand, but instead of a magical poof there was a buzzer. The words "_Winners Don't Cheat_" appeared in glowing green over Timmy's digital clock floating over his head.

"Ah–ah, you're not s'possed to cheat…" Wanda sniffed hard.

Timmy scowled. "Great, I'm a loser most of the time, but here I have to be a winner." He glanced at the time remaining: five hours sharp. "No time to waste," he claimed, clenched his teeth and gripped hard his hammer. "Let's do this right!"

On the floor above them, a pack of penguins were pushing more ice cubes to repair the remaining hole. It was when they were inches from achieving it that a pink blur crashed past, sending icy pieces of floor flying everywhere. Timmy was determined to finish this fast and clean, and he was doing a good job.

_Jump! Crack! Jump! Crack!_ He really wished the original game had Power–Ups, because this was getting really monotonous and boring…

… Oh, right. _That _was why he had stopped playing it.

Level 62…

… Level 63…

… Level 64…

… and, finally, Level 65.

"Whoa, there it is; the summit!" said Timmy. He checked the time and smiled. Four hours and twenty minutes remaining. It was a very good time and the Seed was closer than…

Wanda's eyes open wide. She gagged, inhaled, and then sneezed loudly.

_Bang! Wham! Blast! Whoosh!_

Random magic sprouted all around them; doves popped out of thin air and fell to the floor as gelid sculptures, decks of cards exploded like cannons full of paper, feet of tied tissues sprung from all three pairs of sleeves in the place.

And Timmy's feet were suddenly fused with the icy floor under them.

"_Hey!_" he said.

"'orry…" Wanda blew her nose.

"Bless you, sweetie," said Cosmo as he licked his dove–flavored icicle pop.

"Great, I'm frozen in place," said Timmy. "What else could possibly go wrong now?"

There was a loud shriek as something big and red flew over their heads. Timmy's face was slowly recalling _'Ice Climber'_ again.

"Cosmo… You brought penguins because they were the basic enemies of this game, right?"

"Uh–yup…"

"What _else _did you bring?"

"Well, what do you _think_?"

A dark–red shadow was spotted over the summit's hole high on the sky. The shriek returned as the figure flying up there began a dangerous dive of prehistoric power.

The Pterodactyl! Timmy had forgotten the Pterodactyl at the summit! And it was now approaching at top speed toward the little boy fused to the floor.

"Cosmo, I wish my feet were free!" yelled Timmy. Cosmo gave an experimental swing and, for once, managed the correct spell. Timmy jumped aside as soon as he felt himself freed, and it was only one second later that a couple of ancient talons closed where the boy had been.

The Pterodactyl rose and stared down from the heights. Cosmo and Wanda approached Timmy.

"Now what? That thing never attacked the players in the game!" said Timmy.

"Whad happen'd wi' it, den?" asked Wanda.

"You only had to jump and grab its talons to win," said Timmy, and realized his words. "Oh, _great_…"

"You better start jumping!" cried Cosmo and vanished along with Wanda. The Pterodactyl was diving once more.

Timmy glanced sideways, but saw no proper options. Then he chose a third way: as soon as the prehistoric bird was close enough, he jumped back and rolled on the ice. The talons closed tightly on the spot Timmy had occupied two second ago, but now he was a bit ahead and ready to jump again, this time to the front, and grip tightly on the closed talon.

The Pterodactyl shrieked as it sensed the extra weight on itself. It flapped and flew in circular ascension until flight brought both it and Timmy out of the summit and into the snowy gale outside.

When the Pterodactyl had flown far enough, it disappeared with a celebratory _GAME OVER_ poof.

And when Timmy looked down, he noticed the mountains were a long way below.

"This looks like a good time to start yelling in horror," he said, and he began to yell as soon as gravity took over.

"Cosmo! Wanda! I wish I fall on something soft and cozy!" he added. Cosmo appear in mid–air, grinned and waved his wand.

Poof! Timmy landed heavily, but safely, on what resembled a large, white armchair covered in fur.

"Ah! I'm alive!" he smiled.

The hairy armchair shuddered. Timmy's smile vanished and looked up. Surely armchairs don't have menacing yellow eyes and sharp yellow teeth.

"I hate you, Cosmo…" said Timmy as he looked back to the front, right before a new wave of horror stung.

**–o–**

**T**hree hours and ten minutes were left from the original ten hours Jorgen had conceded. That wasn't on top of Timmy's list of priorities, though. He had a whole new perspective on things.

He was hanging upside–down.

So, how was it, again? Oh, yeah, he had climbed sixty–five floors by jumping and smashing the icy ceilings with a hammer; he had been gripped dangerously by the talons of a prehistoric flying beast; he had landed on the belly of an infamous Yeti; he had raced for his life to get away from the afore–mentioned Yeti; he had jumped, squished, tossed himself into snow fields and basically attempted every trick in the book to get away the monster.

Those tricks didn't involve getting inside a dead–end cavern. What a foolish move.

Now the Yeti had captured him and hung the boy by his feet from the frozen ceiling of the cavern. Blood would have been already coagulated in his head if it only hadn't already half–frozen in every inch of his body.

A green little figure appeared on the floor. It was sitting leg–crossed and looking ancient and wise. It seemed to have long, green ears, but that was just a badly combed hair.

"_Ommmm…_" said Cosmo, his eyes closed. "Very brave must be you, young one."

Timmy sighed. It was bad enough to be hanging like a ham in a freezer; he didn't really need in–jokes or parodies.

"Quit that, Cosmo!" he said.

A second figure appeared next to Cosmo. This one was covered on a thick robe and only a shadow of its face could be seen. The figure seemed to be going through its Dark Side already.

"Aw, sh'ut up!" Wanda coughed and wheezed from inside the blanket. "We h'ave no thime…"

"Right!" said Timmy. "I wish I'm free from this ceiling!"

_Poof!_ Timmy's feet were freed. Bonk! Timmy's head met the cavern's frozen floor.

"Gee, thanks," Timmy straightened up and rubbed his head.

Cosmo's welcome was interrupted by a ferocious roar coming from the shadowy depths of the cavern. The three of them turned to see a large, bulky Yeti advancing at top speed.

"I don't think he wants to share his dinner!" yelped Cosmo.

"Quick, I wish the Yeti freezes over!"

Cosmo waved his wand and they were immediately surrounded by a blue smoke. It dissipated quickly as a Police–Fairy emerged from it and raised a powerful hand toward the incoming Yeti.

"Oh… _no_…" Timmy slapped his forehead, already guessing what was going to happen next.

"_Freeze!_" yelled the Police–Fairy. The Yeti skidded and slid slowly until almost touching the Police–Fairy, who turned to Cosmo and saluted.

"There, now I don't owe you anything," he said, and vanished.

"See ya, Victor!" waved Cosmo, then whispered to Timmy's ear: "He lost a bet when he said I couldn't dip my head in a tank of piranhas while wearing a necklace made out of sausages."

They stared up at the Yeti. Realization was slowly slouching into that fur–coated brain.

"I dink we s'hould gettaway…" Wanda warily said.

The Yeti growled.

"I wish the Yeti didn't want to chase after us!" said Timmy as he saw the white menace straightening up.

Cosmo raised his wand. Behind of them, a ring of fire – smoke trails creating _LAS VEGAS_ – grew until it reached the size of a large, white hoop. Something large leapt from inside and landed on the Yeti, felling it. Timmy saw in amazement how the Saber–Tooth Tiger purred at the thing and the Yeti proudly attached a collar around the neck of its new pet. As the name tag flashed in the sunlight and proclaimed the Yeti's kitty to be named _'George'_, Timmy decided that sometimes Cosmo really knew what he was doing.

**–o–**

**O**ne hour sharp for the deadline.

It was really easy to get away after the Yeti adopted George the Saber–Tooth Tiger. Wasn't they delighted with each other? Surely they were. But Timmy had no time to lose, and so he wished for climbing equipment, finally granted after seven different variations of the wish.

Wanda looked really bad. Even the shadow that could be seen within the curled blanket was deep blue and teeth–clattering. But Timmy wouldn't surrender, because they were almost there. Being captured by a Yeti was actually good: the creature led Timmy through part of the mountain via different hidden passages, and that saved precious hours.

Fifty–eight minutes left. Timmy looked up at Cosmo leading the way shaped as a mountain ram. It was better him than me, thought Timmy.

They made a stop on a snowy ridge. The wind was freezing. It was the perfect place for hiding anything, Timmy considered.

"Just a little more," he said to his Godparents. "The Seed is very close, I can feel it. Up there, somewhere between those rocks."

Cosmo and Wanda looked at the place pointed by Timmy's extended hand.

"I think I can see a cave, there!" claimed Cosmo, turning into a pair of binoculars and placing himself in front of Timmy's eyes.

"Yes, there's a cave!" said Timmy. The information in his brain didn't have doubts. "That's the place! I'm sure! Come on, just a little more!"

Wanda coughed and sneezed. Timmy pushed away the frozen dove–cubes that landed on his head and began the final climb to the Cave of the Seed, as it was labeled in his mind. The advance was slow, but they could reach it in time.

Twenty minutes left. Timmy was beginning to panic, but he had to trust. He had to, because the cave was right there, three feet above his freezing hands. Cosmo and Wanda were pushing him from below, making sure their Godchild didn't lose balance.

Two feet… one … just a couple of inches.

"Almost… there… _arggghhh_…" mourned Timmy, beginning to feel dizzy.

A large, muscular hand closed on Timmy's tiny, thin arm. Caught by surprise, Timmy and his Godparents were suddenly pulled up and deposited roughly in the cave, where another figure stood.

"About time, little weak kiddy…" said Jorgen Von Strangle.

"_Jorgen!_ What… What are you doing here!" Timmy gasped.

"I had to make sure you arrived on time and without cheating," said Jorgen, a smirk of action–packed pleasure in his lips. "And so you did."

"Then I won!" Timmy stood in a jump, smiling.

"Not just yet, squirmy. You must reach the Seed at the back of this cave, see?"

Timmy looked into the cave. Amid the darkness, there was a glowing pin–point. Cosmo turned again into the binoculars and Timmy used him to watch the Seed.

It was very small, like the lonely seed of a grape, and it was glowing blindly. It rested on a pillow, which rested on a pillar.

And that was all.

"That's_ it_?" Timmy sounded disappointed. "All this work for _that_?"

"What did you expect, skinny? You've had enough problems reaching this place already."

"Well, it's a long walk from here, but I can reach it in the fifteen minutes remaining," said Timmy, and began to walk.

_RUMBLE!_ The mountain shook and the interior of the cave was suddenly packed with snow.

"Oh, I forgot," said Jorgen, showing the smile applied to those who never really forget anything: "This cave has a magical security system to hide it from curious little kids like you. Well, well, you have fifteen minutes to get through the snow and reach the seed. I'll be in the Chamber of the Seed until the time runs out, squirmy."

"But I…!"

Jorgen had already vanished in a loud explosion. Timmy panicked and stared at the snow blocking the entrance.

"Oh, no, not this now!" he said. Cosmo turned into a snow shovel and Timmy began to shovel the snow with him. Wanda appeared next to them with a worried look in her ill face.

"Oh, sweetie… A'm 'orry, buh theeze looks reely ba'd…" she said.

"_Come on come on come on come on!_" Timmy just said, shoveling as fast as he could. With ten minutes remaining Timmy had advanced two feet.

"It's impossible!" he claimed, tossing Cosmo–shovel away and falling on his back on the snowy floor. Cosmo returned seconds later. "I can't do this! What will I do? I don't want to lose you, Cosmo, Wanda!"

"Oh, Minny…" Wanda blew her nose, this time with feeling.

"Hey, why don't I give you a flamethrower?" said Cosmo.

Timmy brightened up… then returned to his devastated mood. "Won't work," he said. "That will surely melt the snow quickly, but I won't reach the other end in time. What I need is a quick way to melt the snow _and _get to the Seed."

Eight minutes left. Eight final minutes with his Godparents. Timmy felt like crying. Wanda approached.

"Minny, theeze co'uld be ou'r la'st momt's together…" she said in a voice she hoped to be soothing. "Wo'uhd youe li'ke to maik one la'st wish… fo'r da o'ld thimes?"

_The old times._ Timmy couldn't think on the old times. It all would be forgotten soon enough, anyway. All he could properly remember was the past week and how he wished to have a really calm weekend just before having wished for–

Timmy jumped on his feet, astonished.

"_Of course!_"

He gave a look at the time left. Five minutes. He turned to Cosmo, who was already packing up.

"Cosmo, there _is _one thing I do wish!" Timmy said, and he was indeed grinning like a maniacal demon.

**–o–**

Jorgen Von Strangle was standing guard inside the Chamber of the Seed. It wasn't that Jorgen hated Timmy, but he was very, very fond on following the Rules and Procedures, and he wasn't going to make exceptions for no one.

Two minutes left, Jorgen saw on his magical wrist watch. Well, that was it, he thought. Timmy had failed, now let to put those Godparents back in the lines of Re–Assignation. He was vaguely aware of a soft rumble, but ignored it. A few seconds later, he couldn't ignore its increased sound.

"What is this?" he wondered, his eyes glancing to every spot in the Chamber . . . only to focus on the blocked entrance.

Something was coming.

The blockage of snow exploded like a balloon full of pins. It was followed by an intense wave of heat that melted every inch of snow and ice in the Chamber. Jorgen saw the immense fireball coming from the tunnel. He had never seen fireballs with headlights before.

He jumped aside just before the flaming Bentley revved past him and skidded, leaving a trail of scorched rubber until it crashed into the opposite wall, where it left a large crack.

"_Aaaaaahhhh!_" yelled Timmy and jumped out of the car into the bucket of water Cosmo had magically produced. There was a loud fizz and a long sigh of intense relief.

Timmy jumped out of the bucket, his clothes and skin half–blackened (same as Cosmo and Wanda's) and grinned at Jorgen, who was flat on the floor.

"_Hah!_ Ten seconds left, Jorgen!" said Timmy, then advanced at the pillar and softly picked the Seed with his index finger and thumb. The digital clock on his head stopped with only two seconds remaining.

Timmy grinned like a lunatic. "I _hate _time limits."

Jorgen stood up, looking annoyed.

"Very impressive, little one. You have managed to reach the Seed within the time limit." Jorgen pulled a tiny tape recorder from nowhere and spoke softly to it: "Note to self: decrease Time Limits in the future." The tape recorder vanished with a small but manly mushroom cloud.

"Great, can I give it to Wanda, now?" Timmy scowled.

"Yes, but only if you are greedy enough," snapped Jorgen.

"What, _greedy_? What do you mean?"

"What you are holding between your little, stick–like, girly fingers is the one and only _Seed of Health_. One and Only, you heard that? It's been saved for a time of great crisis, not for curing little Fairy illnesses."

"_Little!_" Timmy gasped.

"Oh, you never heard of Pixie Pox, then, huh?" Cosmo whispered to Timmy's ear, conspiratorially.

"If you use that Seed there won't be any more for the future. That's what _One and Only_ means," Jorgen said.

Timmy stared at the small Seen in his palm . . . then at Wanda's pitiful appearance . . . then back at the Seed.

"I guess . . . it would be kind of selfish, right? Maybe I can just deal with Wanda's Fairytis until it's gone . . ."

"Tha' is so kind . . ." said Wanda.

Timmy sighed. All that work, for nothing. All the perils . . . for nothing.

_Oh, well . . ._

"Right," he said. "I'll give it back."

Jorgen nodded and smiled. "That was a very smart choice, young one."

He extended his huge hand and let Timmy place the tiny Seed on it. Then Jorgen placed the Seed back on its pillow.

"Very well, little one. I will return you and your Godparents back to your pla–"

_CRACK!_

They all fell silent, then slowly stared at the remains of the flaming Bentley.

CRICK!

That crack the car had produced on the wall upon crashing was spreading up.

_CRICK! CRICK! CRACK!_

It was reaching the ceiling.

_CRICK–CRACK–CRACK–CRICK!_

"Uh–oh . . ." chorused Timmy, Cosmo, Wanda, and Jorgen.

_CRAAACK! RUUUUUMBLE!_

The ceiling cracked open and an avalanche of hundreds of thousands of Magical Seeds buried the four gathered under it. Several seconds later, Jorgen stuck his head out with a most annoyed expression.

He also pulled out his hand, in which the tape recorder reappeared.

"Note to self: repair and fortify the Super Secret Magical Seed vault," said Jorgen, then the tape recorder vanished again.

"Hey!" Timmy's head emerged from the large heap, also looking annoyed. "This is full of Seeds! _'One and Only'_, huh?"

"Aw, shush . . ." said Jorgen.

**–o–**

**W**anda was back in good shape by Sunday morning. It was a relief for Timmy, who would have been enjoying a rather quiet and peaceful Sunday if it wasn't for the cold he caught up in the Himalayas. Now he was in bed with several extra blankets and the stereotypical thermometer stuck in his mouth and the bag of ice on his head.

"How are you feeling, sweetheart?" asked Wanda as Cosmo pulled the thermometer and observed the red line form a bulb on the end and pop.

Timmy sneezed. "Aw' A'm fheeli'n' awful . . ."

"How come Jorgen didn't let him have one of those Seeds, again?" wondered Cosmo.

"Well, he said he'd give only one to him if we promised to keep the secret, which we _will _thanks to the curse he laid upon you," said Wanda.

"Why only me?" protested Cosmo.

"Because it's _you_," she just said. "Anyway, Timmy gave the Seed to me before he felt the first symptoms of his cold, poor baby . . ."

"Aw, shuddup . . ." Timmy mumbled.

"Well, don't worry, we're still your Godparents and we will be here to help you endure this pain you are feeling without us feeling it at all," smiled Cosmo.

"Grr…" said Timmy.

The doorknob twisted. Cosmo and Wanda dove into the bowl as goldfish. The door opened and Mom and Dad walked in.

"How is our little kid feeling?" she said. "How could you get a cold with such nice weather?"

"You didn't dance on the roof wearing only underwear, did you?" Dad sounded concerned. "I get a cold when I do."

Timmy tried with all his strength to get that mental image out of his range of thoughts. He failed.

"I'll be a'right…" he mumbled. "Noth'eeng can be wo'rze, aynieway…"

"Well, don't you worry," her mother kissed him on the forehead. "You'll be all right while we are out at the Bingo."

Timmy's eyes popped open as Mom and Dad walked away.

"Wha! Wai't! Who's gounna taik caere of me?" he said as his bedroom's door slammed shut.

It opened again two second later.

"He–llooooo, twerp! It's me, your most–beloved baby–sitter . . . _Vicky_!" said Vicky, and hers was a grin many a maniac demon driving a flaming Bentley would have killed to have.

Timmy screamed in horror, the sound of his parent's retreating car and a starting thunder storm creating a rumbling backbeat.

Yes, it was going to be a calm weekend, all the way…

**–o–**

**THE END**

**–o–**


End file.
